Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
