What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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