Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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