i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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