idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
