So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
