Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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