Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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