I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize