walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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