I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
