margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
