Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
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I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just found puke in my bra..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
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She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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