The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
