I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
