During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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