Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
