After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
