I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
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