who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just high enough for therapy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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