How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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