I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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