oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize