We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You were trust falling into bushes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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