quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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