he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize