there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
