she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
