she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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