..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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