Porn is love you can see.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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