We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Help. Why am I so naked?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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