Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Randomize
