Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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