I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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