Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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