I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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