Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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