i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
