he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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