Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.

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(443): View more from Maryland

party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?

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(330): View more from Ohio

It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown

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(208): View more from Idaho

You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.

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(951): View more from California

Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.

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