You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
