You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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