She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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