were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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