Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
People in love make me want to vomit
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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