Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize