Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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