are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
