"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
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She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
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tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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