The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
