The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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