i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
