I skipped work to stalk him.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
