Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
