She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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