4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Im part way to drunk.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize