me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.