Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.