Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
