Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You made out with two different species that night
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
