I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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