Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
