I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize